I’m glad

I’m glad we don’t live in Utah right now.

I don’t even remember what job it was that Brandon found and applied to in Salt Lake City, but I’m glad they didn’t call.

I just don’t see how that would have gone over well in the long run.

Not at all.

Gratitude day 17

Today I want to give thanks for Brandon’s job. He accepted a new job over a month ago & while I was relieved for him, I was still a bit apprehensive about how our lives would be changing.

It’s true, he’s gone more with the extra hour of commuting, and he’s not home for lunch. But when he gets home, I see just how differently his day has gone, and I know this change was for the best. He really does enjoy his work. That sense of peace and satisfaction is priceless.

Of course, in today’s economic climate, I am aware of how truly blessed we are to be in this situation. And I’m thankful for the direction our lives are taking because of it!

Gratitude Day 3

Today was mind numbingly exhausting with work. So rather than complain, I will do my best to be grateful.

I’m grateful I was able to quit working for this company back in April. It allowed me to finally relax a little bit and enjoy the last month of wedding planning, as well as our actual wedding day and honeymoon.

I’m glad I had the chance to build so many great relationships with my coworkers there, and also the freedom to set things in motion that led to positive changes within the company.

I’m also thankful that they asked me to come back in a new role. It really is a great opportunity that has challenged me to do things that I’m passionate about in a business environment. I’m also so SO glad that I’ve been able to do this job from home, basically making my own hours as my pregnancy allows.

And finally, I’m thankful that after today the ‘worst’ is over, we’ll be successfully launching a new website over the weekend, and it’s not half bad.

Ideas, yes. Time, no.

While the idea of being the lead person on a huge website/social media project sounds awesome and exciting in theory, in real life, it is kicking my ass. Part of it is my being asked to do things which I have no business doing (ahem, graphic design of any sort) and the rest has to do with technical/business writing not being exactly ‘fun’.

And while I could whine about this all day, the point is, my writing here is not what I had hoped. (Is it ever?) I have drafts started, and there they remain probably at least until the end of the month when, hopefully, some of the work pressure lets off. Until then, I’ll probably continue to wake up in the middle of the night or at some ungodly early hour and not be able to sleep. So half-awake, half-hearted posting remains.

P.S. Don’t let me continue to complain about my job. Working from home, making my own hours, getting to spend lots of time feeling baby kicks and playing with the animals… I couldn’t be any  luckier. Work should require just a little work, yes? Yes.

big stuff

Curious how quickly things can change.
A month ago, yesterday, I got married. A couple weeks after that a baby was conceived. And a couple weeks after that we found out for sure that I am pregnant and started breaking the news.
About two months ago I quit my job. Having left on good terms, I kept in touch with my coworkers. A couple even came to the wedding, which is where I got some really interesting news. Before, I was told they’re ‘not paying me to be on Twitter’ which was, for the most part, true. My job was customer service and I was so busy I was pulling my hair out. Which led to me quitting. However after I left, some people noticed that certain things stopped. No more tweets, the new website project was getting stale, and no one had a whole lot of time to devote to such things. It was offhandedly mentioned, why don’t we pay Rachael to tweet for a couple hours a week, a fun fact I learned on my wedding day.
Oh the irony.
Which led to the hatching of a seriously great plan to put me in charge of all the social media, and help with getting the website launched (finally).
Late Monday I sent my proposal and by Tuesday afternoon I got the call that they were accepting it and wanted me to come in today to sit in on a meeting they already had scheduled to talk more website stuff.
I’m not going to lie, I’m really excited about this job. Getting paid to connect with people and research technical articles while flexing my creative muscles? From home? Bring it on!
Oh and we’re pretty stoked about the baby too. And some other cool stuff that is just starting to be in the works! It feels like a whole new year (minus the cold and snow) and excitement and change are in the air!

Gym

I have to get back there.
Right now the only thing holding me back is finances. Being unemployed will do that to you, though. I’m really torn between wanting to fill my time doing things around the house that need done and just going out and getting a job.
It feels like there aren’t enough hours in the day. (Are there ever?)
It wouldn’t be terrible if I could get myself into a routine that would result in a clean me, a clean house and lots of walks with Magda. But my inner lazy ass has taken over my sleep schedule and I’ve been clocking 10 hours of sleep a night. The plus side is when I get up, I don’t feel the urge to nap whatsoever the rest of the day & I usually get productive right away. The down side is, I still feel like I’ve lost 2 hours that everyone else got to make use of.
I’m getting side tracked.
While I greatly enjoy the walks with Magda (even with the mosquitoes chasing us) I still miss lifting. One remedy that might manifest would be training my friend Christie. I offered my services to her in trade for paying my membership for the summer while she’s in town. No, I’m not certified, but I’d like to think I’m pretty damn educated & fairly motivated. I won’t be heartbroken if she decides to go with a CPT, but Brandon and I will have to decide where the money for a gym membership for me will come from. (At least until January, if we’re still here… then his work offers seriously discounted memberships at any local gym.)
I feel like I’ve been whining about this for a while, and there really isn’t much excuse for how out of sync my life feels to ‘real’ life. I have been pretty stagnant for the past couple weeks trying to decide between going to get a job that is something I’m passionate about or something that is just a ‘job’. Compiled with Brandon’s current job situation, and the idea of having a baby, well… I’m hardly sure how to put myself out there.
“Hi, my name is Rachael and I am probably only available to you for a short period of time…” Something tells me that’s just not going to cut it.
I’ve got to figure out what I’m going to get serious about and just do it. Hopefully that’s not easier said than done.

myself

In two weeks the wedding will be here, and after that I will suddenly find myself with a lot more time on my hands.
I swear I am getting back to writing. And reading. And being generally less cranky, and more joyous.
I also need to figure out what I’m going to do to start drawing an income again.
There are a lot of things I can do. I’d really like to not get sucked into a job that trades me happiness for money again. Don’t get me wrong, there were plenty of good things about my last job. The people, both my coworkers and customers, totally made it for me. And in the end, it just wasn’t enough. Long hours and constantly shifting expectations and lack of communication finally broke me down too far. I can never express how grateful I am to Brandon for seeing what even I didn’t see: that I don’t have to do this.
I’ve always preached that if you want to do something else, you should. Take control of things rather than letting them make you miserable. Of course, that can be easier said than done. There’s always the ever present concern about making ends meet. And finding the energy, after a long exhausting day at a job you hate, to go out and look for something better. Add to that feelings of self-doubt, a bad economy where jobs are hard to come by, and endless other factors, and you may find yourself feeling really stuck.
I’m definitely ‘un-stuck’ at this point, however that doesn’t answer the big question: what comes next?
I did interview last week at a math tutoring place, but I’ve forgotten just a bit too much over the past decade since I last took a math class. And then a few days ago when I was in Detroit, I got to spend two days in a second grade classroom with my friend Christie. I was overjoyed to watch & assist her in whatever fashion she let me. I am starting to hope I can find something that will let me work with kids.
I have dozens of other interest and pet-projects I’d also like to indulge at some point, but figuring out which ones are a viable career path (even short term, because the baby-fever is strong with this one), has me quite a bit turned upside down.
Whatever happens next, though, I am vowing to be more true to myself.