My own making

It’s taken me a couple of weeks but I’m beginning to feel a shift.
Ever since I admitted to myself how much I dislike being pregnant, I’ve been able to move past it.
Well, aside from the fact that I am still very much pregnant.
I had a long talk with my midwife and she really encouraged me to focus on my self care; to not harbor stress but in the midst of all this chaos, keep working out ways to manage it better. So far, it’s been working out pretty well.
I have been writing down a daily to-do list because it feels damn good to cross things off. I will also shamelessly disregard said list if trying to get too much done is adding stress when Nora needs a snuggle day. And I’ve especially tried to start taking advantage of the few quiet moments after everyone else is asleep to stretch and meditate, and especially focus on my body and my growing baby.
It has brought me to an awareness of the bond I haven’t taken much time to foster with him (so sorry, little dude). I can’t say if the negativity came first, or the discomfort in being pregnant (chicken, meet egg) but either way I know it’s past time to break the cycle.
I definitely believe in affirmations and positive self talk to help manifest change, so that’s where I started. Being strong (even when you’re exhausted), being enough (even when nothing seems to make your toddler happy), nourishing your body (even when a donut will surely fix your troubles), and being present in this moment (even when there’s a giant list looming over you) are some of the areas I’ve sought to make peace with.
I’m far from perfect, for sure, and I’m also very good at making mistakes over and over, but my heart is happiest when I’m trying to do better.
That’s the point of all if this, isn’t it?

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