Honesty

I almost didn’t want to share this post. This list seemed like a bunch of selfish whining about a choice I very deliberately made, and sacrifices I willingly accepted. But the thing is, they are sacrifices, and I’m entitled to miss certain things from time to time. And if I didn’t, I’d have to wonder how committed I was to being a good mother.

So, in no particular order, here’s a list I made the other night when Nora decided sleep was for sissies.

Things I miss:

Having the bed to ourselves
Getting to pee whenever I want
Ridiculously long showers
Makeup
Social drinking
Social eating
Social BEING
Going to the gym (really!)
My pre-pregnancy body
Wearing cute clothes
Regular bras
Too much coffee
Sleeping 12 hours straight
Road trips
Really loud music
Cooking
Solitude
Irresponsibility

The great thing is, after making this list (and getting more than a couple of hours of sleep), I realized that I had made the right choice. I would never really want to trade places with my “old life”. What I have now is so much more amazing. And many of these things will come back in due time, I just have to be patient and savor these fleeting moments with my sweet baby.

Part-timer

Tonight I finally allowed myself to shed a few more tears over Nora’s hip dysplasia situation. This time, however, they were good ones… tears of relief and joy, letting go of a little worry, and even a little misplaced guilt.

After a very restless night last night, we all got up early this morning to head down to Indy for Nora’s follow up to see 1) if the brace was working, and 2) for how much longer she would have to wear it. All of the research I had done told me that typically the brace is worn for 6 to 12 weeks and then at least part time for an additional 6 to 12 more weeks. And if the brace didn’t work, the next step would be surgery and a hard cast.

I had already mentally prepared myself (this time) to not be so shocked should we get the worst news, but I tried to put it out of my mind for a bit longer while we enjoyed a pleasant detour to have lunch with Tiffany, Calvin and the new bump that is rapidly growing. It was a lot of fun to watch the kids stealing glances with each other and the other restaurant patrons, and garnering lots of compliments on how adorable they were. Even though it was a brief visit, we left in good spirits and headed to the doctor’s office to see what would become Nora next.

Even though she  had been a little fussy when we were finishing lunch, by the time we got to Nora’s appointment she was in a good mood again. She thankfully stayed pretty happy through the whole x-ray process (a VAST improvement over last visit) and was still smiling and drooling away when the doctor came in. I had a pretty good feeling as we sat waiting because a nurse had brought in the pictures and her hips looked a lot better, to us at least. Her doctor was thrilled at her improvement too; in fact, when he came in he announced that she really didn’t even need the brace anymore! But, just to be cautious, he recommended we keep her in it for about 8 hours a day, and then we’ll follow up again in two more weeks. After that, he seems to think we’ll just be back on the ‘keep an eye on it’ track with visits every three months.

Holy moley!

The best news I was expecting to hear was that she’d be wearing the brace full time for another month! Obviously we’re overjoyed, even though we’re still not in the clear just yet. I’m so grateful to her pediatrician for catching the problem so early and also for the specialist for giving her the right treatment and saving her so much pain and suffering down the road!

Update-shmupdate

It’s been a whirl-wind week around here, and I’m just now starting to feel caught up! Memorial weekend is a pretty busy one for most people, and our family has kicked it up a notch. Both my anniversary and my nephew Calvin’s birthday fall on May 28th, so we were having a blast with him on Saturday opening presents and getting his first sugar buzz!

Sunday was another big milestone for us: Nora stayed the night at her Grandma Frantz’s house so Brandon and I could get some time to ourselves to celebrate our anniversary. We dropped her off on Sunday evening and I managed to hold back the tears thanks in a big part to this app that allows parents and caregivers to record and track all your daily activities including feeding, diaper changes, sleep, play time, and tons more. At the risk of sounding like an info-mercial, I’m completely obsessed with it! I highly recommend it to any new mom.

After we dropped Nora off, Brandon and I headed out for a casual dinner and then back home. After some world-class fooling around (sorry, TMI) we called it an early bedtime, delighted to have our bed back to ourselves. (Nora is usually between us in her co-sleeper.) Monday I woke up entirely too early, my mind wandering back to Warsaw, wondering how Nora was doing, even though I could see that she slept a whopping SEVEN hours. Eventually Brandon got up as well and we decided to take a motorcycle ride up to the Auburn Cord Deusenberg museum where we got married. It was a hot day, and the ride was perfect. We meandered around the museum for a while, looking at all the different cars, taking a sentimental stroll down the staircase, and imagining some day when Nora would be old enough to enjoy visits to such a neat place. After we headed home, we got a lazy lunch at one of our favorite restaurants. The owner, who is always around, asked us where Nora was, and after we told her she was at Grandma’s while we celebrated, sent over a delicious dessert! Then we hopped in the car for a nice long drive down to the farm where my brother has worked for the past couple of years. We took a nice hot walk around, nibbling on the growing veggies, petting the kittens and chasing a chicken or two, and late that evening we finally got home for another quiet evening to ourselves.

I woke up Tuesday morning pretty desperate to get back to my baby, and when we arrived, she seemed pretty excited to see us as well. I’d also swear she grew an inch and a couple of pounds, since that’s how babies can be when you’re not looking!

The rest of Tuesday and Wednesday disappeared in a blur of cleaning house, trying to get Nora back on schedule, and working out in the yard. Thursday rolled around and Brandon finally had to go back to work, which seemed to make Nora even more needy, and I spent the rest of the week getting little done besides holding her and some one-handed work on my computer.

Saturday & Sunday were another blink of a weekend, spent outside doing more yard work, running errands, and heading to Brandon’s parents to have a birthday cookout for his brother. It wasn’t entirely relaxing since Nora spent Friday night waking up every couple of hours with apparent gas/constipation (yeah, more TMI) and around 6am Saturday morning when she finally got her business done, I was beyond exhausted and never got caught up on sleep.

Which brings us back to now… we spent today sleeping in, going for a coffee run, getting a little work done, and generally being lazy; and there’s more of the same on tap for tomorrow. Wednesday we go back down to Indianapolis to see Nora’s orthopedic specialist and find out some more details about her hip dysplasia and how long she’ll be wearing her brace. I’m desperately hoping for some good news, so keep us in your thoughts and prayers.