so far

Second blog post of the month! That makes twice as many as last month!

Well I guess I should try not to be too hard on myself since 90% of my waking hours I have my hands full, quite literally with this baby.

Sometimes I feel guilty about that, or that I’m disappointing some imaginary ‘other’ because it seems so hard for me to simply put the baby down. Sometimes it’s hard because I know she’ll just wake up the instant I try to move her,  but mostly I just like to hold her and be right there when she wakes. I’m so in love with that smile she gives me each time her eyes open and delightfully, mommy (and the boobs) are still right where she left them.

Actually it seems easier for me to get up and get things done when Nora is awake. I can plop her happily in her swing, or strap her to me in a wrap or sling and go about my business while she takes in the world.  And then, of course, we have to talk about it. I do really mean “we” since she also loves to talk, practically dialog back and forth when she’s awake. Even if I’m in the next room I can hear her pipe up with extra loud babbles and coos waiting for me to respond in turn.

She also likes to show off her new physical skills. She loves to sit up, and is already doing so nearly on her own, as well as pushing herself up to standing with some support. And even though she still kind of hates her tummy time, she easily props her head up to gaze around. She’s very close to rolling front to back now, which I know is important, but then we roll back to front too, and that brings a whole new set of terrors for me. What might she suddenly roll off of, or on to, for that matter?

Oh well, I guess that’s just part of the deal. Every day she will become a little more independent, a little less snuggly. I heard once that parenting is just a series of letting-go’s starting the moment a baby is born. Maybe that’s why I hold her so much now, because I still can.

Of course, now that Nora is officially three months old, we’re starting to face a lot of new challenges. For one, our freezer stock has been finally emptied, which means I have to cook real food if we expect to eat. Secondly, it’s really time for me to work on taking better care of myself. I’m finally starting to get the hang of showering (almost) every day, but I still need to get in a bit of exercise. Even though we have gym memberships, actually leaving the house to get there (and then coming home and getting cleaned up again) is way too challenging for this novice. Thankfully I have a stash of workout DVDs and a few of them have short 20-25 minute workouts that I should be able to squeeze in every couple of days. Yeah, it’s not much, but we’re just getting started.

All things considered, I feel so very lucky for how everything has worked out. Brandon has taken such good care of all of us, and I really believe all my successes so far are because of how much he has supported me and jumped in headfirst into this fatherhood thing. We truly are a team and Nora is thriving because of it!

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One thought on “so far

  1. You all are making wonderful progress, mama! You SHOULD BE proud of all of this. You will continually alter your days for the rest of your life but don’t ever let anyone convince you that you are changing your life. You are still Rachael, Brandon is still Brandon, you just brought out some new super powers! Keep being your awesome self, mama!

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