Dear Baby (30 weeks, 3 days)

Sleep is getting harder to come by, baby. Even when I’m exhausted, getting comfortable is a chore. And when I do manage to accomplish such a feat, I’m often overwhelmed with heartburn, or the (seemingly) ever-present urge to pee, so I have to get up and settle down all over again.

That’s not including all the stuff going on in my head. I’m starting to become more and more preoccupied (obsessed?) with how often you move around during the day. I haven’t officially started taking ‘kick counts’ because I’m afraid it will just make me stress out more. There’s a voice in the back of my head that says to trust my body, and to trust you. If you decide you need to come earlier than we’re expecting, then you’ll just do it. It’s a  hard voice to listen to, but I’m trying.

Actually there are a lot of voices in my head lately. I don’t mean that in a sinking into schizophrenia kind of way. Between all the books, and the medical professionals, and all the friends and family that chime in too, sometimes it feels hard to find my way through. And the dreams… oh goodness there is a LOT of weirdness in my head. Obviously my subconscious is trying really hard to keep up with all the information, emotions, and hormones.

The one thing I’m getting more and more sure of is how ready I am to finally have you here. No, the house isn’t ready, and we still have classes to take (oh goody MORE information!) and obviously your precious little body probably isn’t quite ready, but my heart is. I know that won’t mean the end of me questioning my sanity, or the endless chorus of advice, but it will mean a miracle transpired, and somehow two people became three.

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