Gratitude days 29 & 30

It’s finally the last day of the month and all my hopes of ending on a profound note seem completely out of my grasp.

Today was exhausting and I’ve been cranky.

Two things really highlighted my day though:

Jessie checking in on me to see what was wrong & making sure I was ok (and even joining in on my rant a little so I didn’t feel so alone). Love and thanks to you.

Watching a super sad (and kind of corny) chic flick & having a good cry. It’s shamelessly indulgent, and such a release. Grateful for the catharsis.

There were a few other bright spots in my day too, but those two got me through.

Profound, not so much. Real, to a fault.

Dear baby (27 weeks)

Heartburn is a killer. Waking up in the middle of the night to find my chest on fire and a sudden urge to throw up hanging in the back of my throat: not fun. In fact, I’m glad you are a girl, because much like (I imagine) my mother thinks of me… turnabout is fair play.

That being said, I do sometime wonder if you’re making this a bit too easy on me. I still feel good enough to go to the gym, my hips and pelvis have not disintegrated into a source of constant agony, and you like to tickle me with lots of kicks and wiggles. Despite all my complaining, when people ask me how I’m feeling, I have to say… pretty great still! So, really, let’s keep that up, yes?

In just a few more days we’ll be able to say that we’ve finally made it to the third trimester. It’s crept up so fast on me, very much like the wedding did. Your dad & I were so gung-ho at the start, so we do have a lot of things ready. Still.. so many details to finalize. And things to clean around the house.

And now, this week it’s supposed to start snowing. I saw a few flakes flying around once a couple of weeks ago, but this is much more indicative of the real thing. Even though I’m more inclined to start worrying about our safety (and dad’s), maybe you can help me remember that we’ve already done everything we can to be prepared, and I might as well just enjoy some icy natural beauty for a while.

Gratitude day 28

Sometimes I think I have to be thankful for the things that scare me a little. I try to keep a pretty open mind most of the time, but I’m also grateful to have a little internal ‘warning system’ to keep me from flying too far off the deep end. Sometimes I learn that there was nothing to fear, so long as I’ve got a plan. Sometimes I find it’s just best if I turn and go another direction entirely. Either way, that moment of pause is my friend.

Gratitude day 27

I’m grateful for people who are smarter & have more experience than me.

Sometimes things can get awfully scary or intimidating or just overwhelming in life. The trick is just knowing when and where to ask for help.

Gratitude day 26 (slacker edition)

Call it the post-feast hangover. Or the Christmas shopping tunnel vision. Whatever.

Speaking of shopping, I’m so glad that my shopping is done. Well, virtually, anyway. Brandon & I set a pretty reasonable budget year, agreeing that he would take care of the financial aspect, and I would ‘handle’ the actual picking out of gifts. It’s funny that it took me this  long to realize just how much he dislikes trying to pick out gifts, but I love the challenge, so it works well.

I will admit, the budget thing is a little hard for me. I love to shop for others as much as I love to shop for myself. But this year our finances are a lot different then in years past, especially with me only working part time. It’s very much a test of my will, but I know, particularly in our marriage, keeping the peace with money will pay off over and over in the long run.

Regardless, after a few hours of brain storming and a few more hours scouring the internet… it’s done. Now we can focus on the best part: enjoying time with our families!

Gratitude day 25

(This one may sound a little ridiculous.)

I’m grateful that Brandon’s family ate the entire ugly cheesecake.

No I don’t have any pictures of how ugly it looked, but it was sad. Overly browned on top and the sides fell victim to my distracted knife as I was separating it from the pan. And yet, everyone raved about how good it tasted. (Which it damn well should, since it took so much time to prep and bake, thank you Chris Kimball.)

I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised at the end result, though. I made this recipe almost two years ago using an iffy stand mixer and a borrowed spring form pan, which were my excuses for not making it again, no matter how much Brandon begged me to. Last time, it didn’t turn out any prettier, but I hid it under a sublime strawberry topping so no one would notice. I believe that was the beginning of my reputation with his family as the ‘dessert girl’.

This year, with a new mixer (yay, wedding registry!) and a new pan (“now you have no excuses” Brandon), I thought I had the bugs worked out. I had no back up plan to beautify my masterpiece. I should have known better.

Maybe I just put too much weight on the aesthetics of cooking. Maybe. But especially with dessert, I always want it to look irresistibly tempting. Which is why I have no idea why anyone at this cheesecake.

Perhaps it will just have to remain a mystery to me. Especially since it’s all gone.