Lame

So Tuesday evening I started getting a little sniffly and sneezy. (No, not the dwarves.) By the time I woke up on Wednesday, I was full on sick with a nasty sore throat, cough, and sinus grossness.  The good news is, I work from home so I didn’t really have to worry about getting anybody sick, except Brandon. The bad news is, I really had to work despite wanting to lay around and watch bad TV and chick-flicks all day.

So far Brandon seems to be avoiding my illness; we’re pretty careful though, to not share food or even very many kisses. I feel a little better as each day wears on, but in the mornings it’s still pretty much some mutation of death. According to WebMD, I’ve got a pretty standard cold, so hopefully I’ll feel better here in a few days.

The hardest thing, of course, is being pregnant. I’m usually pretty tough about a little sickness like this & can medicate my way through. Obviously, now that’s not really an option. Even with the medicines I know I can take, I’ve been trying to really limit myself to just taking them before bed so I (and Brandon) can get a good night’s sleep. I’ve been trying not to worry about how the baby is doing with all of this sickness and treatment, but I’ll be glad to hear it for sure at my next checkup.

Honestly this little bout of sick couldn’t have come at a more frustrating time. We have just one more week until Brandon’s new insurance kicks in, and then we won’t have to worry about paying astronomical COBRA fees, or out of pocket medical costs. I’m just thankful it doesn’t seem to be anything serious and I’ve been able to take pretty good care of myself.

That’s all the lame activity that’s going on around here. Hopefully next time I’ll have more exciting news to share.

Ideas, yes. Time, no.

While the idea of being the lead person on a huge website/social media project sounds awesome and exciting in theory, in real life, it is kicking my ass. Part of it is my being asked to do things which I have no business doing (ahem, graphic design of any sort) and the rest has to do with technical/business writing not being exactly ‘fun’.

And while I could whine about this all day, the point is, my writing here is not what I had hoped. (Is it ever?) I have drafts started, and there they remain probably at least until the end of the month when, hopefully, some of the work pressure lets off. Until then, I’ll probably continue to wake up in the middle of the night or at some ungodly early hour and not be able to sleep. So half-awake, half-hearted posting remains.

P.S. Don’t let me continue to complain about my job. Working from home, making my own hours, getting to spend lots of time feeling baby kicks and playing with the animals… I couldn’t be any  luckier. Work should require just a little work, yes? Yes.

Dear Baby (21 weeks)

It’s three in the morning and I’m obsessing.

I know I can be the poster child for worry, sometimes, but I’m trying very hard to just chill because they tell me you know when I’m stressed. Obviously this is totally unfair to you, and I’m sorry.

Everyone seems so excited to meet you and enjoy some serious baby girl cuteness. Honestly, I am too, despite all the nervousness.

Your dad & I decided we should probably put together your registry of stuff you are going to need. (Need is kind of a loose term, but ideally we’ll end up with most of this stuff.) I thought I’d be more worried about how much it’s all going to cost, but your dad is such a good planner, and I think I’m learning to just trust him that you’ll always be taken care of.  So your registry wasn’t one of my favorite things to do to get ready, but it’s (mostly) done. Plus your dad and I make a pretty good team, and I like spending the afternoon with him getting stuff checked off.

No, I’m not worried about the money, and only just a little bit about getting the ‘right’ stuff. I don’t want to waste money on things that are completely useless or will just break, but we’ve done our homework. Beyond that, there’s nothing more to be done.

I guess I’m not sure why I’m feeling extra crazy. Maybe it’s just how much more you’ve been making sure I feel you moving in my belly, combined with the actual stuff we’ll be using to help take care of you… it’s just getting so REAL. And spending the evening with some of your dad’s friends and their kids definitely reinforced ideas about what our life is going to be like down the road: not particularly glamorous, but full of wonder and love.

I mean, really, who wants glamorous anyway? Too much pressure, which, if you’re anything like me, you won’t need!

My dear Nora, you are coming, and soon. Maybe I should put myself under a little less pressure to be perfect, and allow us all to just be.

With love,

Your mommy

Baby-licious

This is where it gets real. Target dressing room trying on real maternity shirts. Because all my ‘long’ shirts just aren’t quite covering the bump anymore. I feel kinda huge for how far along I am, but it’s also nice to be obviously pregnant. Of course, after I bought a few nice long sleeve maternity shirts, the weather warmed up to the low 80s for a week, but winter will come regardless!

Also, just a few days before that picture, we had our ‘big’ ultrasound. It was pretty cool to see such good looks at the baby’s heart and spine, as well as feet and hands.  The 3D images were kind of freaky, to be honest, but what can you expect from a baby only halfway cooked?

 

And we got a great view of what’s going on between the legs. This baby is most definitely a girl!

We’ve had names picked out for a while now (we’re over-achievers like that), so we’ve been calling her Nora Jean ever since. It’s still a bit surreal, but with every kick and squirm this baby is making her way into our lives slowly but surely!

The real deal

For over a decade now I’ve fancied myself as a bit of a writer.

Over time there have been lots of changes to my style, my mediums, and of course, me. Blogging and journaling have been an outlet for many of the emotions, ideas, and observances that pass through my brain. Also, my family likes to stalk me and see how I’m doing. It’s taken me a little while, but I’m ok with that too.

I’ve also experienced a lot of changes to my lifestyle recently. I’ve addressed some struggles with my health and weight. I got married. And very soon, I’ll be having a baby. I can only imagine what changes are in store with motherhood and all my other pursuits.

One constant has shaped my outlook and perspective through all of these things, though: the desire to grow and become a better person. Even though I’ve probably failed as often as I’ve succeeded, this is the real thing.

So yes, this blog is all about me, my struggles, and hopefully, my successes as I search out the best version of myself.