Finally

Today I went back to my CNM here in Fort Wayne. After endlessly considering the pros & cons of going to the birth center in Goshen, I came across a fun fact that made my head spin: at a birth center, I would be sent home somewhere between 5 to 8 hours after giving birth.
Now I can see why this is a huge plus for some people. Get home, get settled, keep your life as ‘unnecessary medicine’ free as you possibly can. But this is not for Brandon and me. While I’m pretty opposed to having interventions and pain killers during the delivery process, I don’t think it would be beyond me to get a tiny bit of relief after the fact. Also, I would like to get a couple hours of sleep before being tossed out into the world with just my husband and new baby. I don’t think this is selfish at all, either. If I can come home feeling that much more prepared to care for this brand new person, I will wait a day or two in the hospital.

Also, I really like Andrea. She’s funny and down to earth, caring but relate-able. I feel comfortable in that office, and I know Brandon is much relieved to be keeping things closer to home. Even though he would never say it, I know how much he worries about the ‘what if something goes wrong?’ and I can’t say that I blame him. If I had lost my mother that young, I don’t know how I would have coped. So despite all my fussing and freaking out, I think this will be where we stay. I’m planning on setting up tours of both hospitals (Parkview North and Dupont) so we can get a feel for how things will be going on that one crazy beautiful day.

And finally, in four weeks we will (maybe) know the gender of our baby. Brandon is as adamant as ever about finding out, and my repulsion has turned slowly into ambivalence. I’m secretly hoping that they just can’t tell because of the way the baby is positioned, but I won’t be disappointed if we get an obvious look into our future in parenting.

And that’s enough baby talk for now, so I’m going to find myself some lunch!

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