On being pregnant

You’re growing another human being.
Upon this realization, I feel, at best, completely under-qualified, and at worst, undeserving.

You’re growing another human being.
It seems like far to much to ask of a single person. One who is making her way from dawn to dusk aided by mass quantities of caffeine. And then take away that crutch and ask her to assemble cells in a meticulous order so as to create something of beauty and utmost importance.

You’re growing another human being.
It feels solitary, being pregnant, no matter how many amazing women have gone before you graciously, and kindly lend their support. Moment to moment, you do not know what exactly is going on inside you. You can only pray.

You’re growing another human being.
I’ve begun to wonder what mistakes I will make with this child. Which ones will be easily forgotten, and which will be unforgivable. I’m quite capable of doing things very wrong, even with the best of intentions. I hope this child can will see someday how hard I tried.

You’re growing another human being.
This is what it’s like face to face with everything you ever thought you wanted. Overjoyed and yet scared shitless. I feel as though I cannot breathe and yet I keep drawing breaths.

I’m growing another human being.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s