myself

In two weeks the wedding will be here, and after that I will suddenly find myself with a lot more time on my hands.
I swear I am getting back to writing. And reading. And being generally less cranky, and more joyous.
I also need to figure out what I’m going to do to start drawing an income again.
There are a lot of things I can do. I’d really like to not get sucked into a job that trades me happiness for money again. Don’t get me wrong, there were plenty of good things about my last job. The people, both my coworkers and customers, totally made it for me. And in the end, it just wasn’t enough. Long hours and constantly shifting expectations and lack of communication finally broke me down too far. I can never express how grateful I am to Brandon for seeing what even I didn’t see: that I don’t have to do this.
I’ve always preached that if you want to do something else, you should. Take control of things rather than letting them make you miserable. Of course, that can be easier said than done. There’s always the ever present concern about making ends meet. And finding the energy, after a long exhausting day at a job you hate, to go out and look for something better. Add to that feelings of self-doubt, a bad economy where jobs are hard to come by, and endless other factors, and you may find yourself feeling really stuck.
I’m definitely ‘un-stuck’ at this point, however that doesn’t answer the big question: what comes next?
I did interview last week at a math tutoring place, but I’ve forgotten just a bit too much over the past decade since I last took a math class. And then a few days ago when I was in Detroit, I got to spend two days in a second grade classroom with my friend Christie. I was overjoyed to watch & assist her in whatever fashion she let me. I am starting to hope I can find something that will let me work with kids.
I have dozens of other interest and pet-projects I’d also like to indulge at some point, but figuring out which ones are a viable career path (even short term, because the baby-fever is strong with this one), has me quite a bit turned upside down.
Whatever happens next, though, I am vowing to be more true to myself.

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