All or nothing

You might say I’m a chronic over-thinker.
I want to become an expert at something before I attempt it. I always want to know the Why. It’s sort of a moody, anxious way to be, I’m aware. Brandon has developed a keen eye for the brow furrow that means I’m starting to drown amongst my own thoughts.
Lately I’m getting a little obsessed with what sort of long-term fitness goals and/or plan I should have (made all the more ironic by the fact that I haven’t been to the gym more than a couple times since August.) But like I said, I need to have a definite sense of purpose. Besides getting ‘skinny’. Besides looking good on my wedding day. I guess I’m trying to quantify healthy, in some other numbers besides body fat percentage.
Obviously I’m not a personal trainer, and reading their writings will never make me one. I’d seriously been considering hiring one, except the trainers’ blogs I do read aren’t generally kind to the average-Joe-CPT. This might make me a bit of an elitist on a topic I know little about, but when I keep hearing the same names and the same training styles endorsed over and over, it starts to sink in: hey, this guy sounds pretty smart.
So anyway. I need to get back to the gym. I need a regimen, and some instruction on form. I need to do more than the same 10 things I’m already familiar with to really get my body at the level of health, strength, and injury-prevention-readiness that I want. Yes, I just made up that last term. “Mobility” maybe.
So do I pay someone who might not give me the level of training that I want? Do I buy one of these boxed systems from someone I do respect? Do I just keep doing what I’ve been doing?
I really don’t know. I do know that Brandon thinks I’m slightly cuckoo for getting so mentally engrossed in a project my body hasn’t begun to invest in. Fair enough. I guess I’ll be going to the gym tonight.

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