I can’t write

On the internet. Or on a computer at all.
I have to sit down with paper & pencil until the ideas begin to come out. I have to close my eyes and find that word, that essence and try to capture it before it fades.
For me this blogging is not writing; it’s just a spewing forth of everything in my brain in a more or less uncollected manner. Moment to moment, line to line thoughts may not be coherent.
I am jealous of the writers. Those who can stay awake long into the night until their words fall in just the right syntax and cadence.
I used to, but then the world found me. I let it steal my minutes, let it make me drink coffee only in the morning, let it leave me exhausted after 9 hours at a desk crunching numbers.
Numbers!
I have lost my perception of the moment. My brain thinks it’s already August because that’s where I’m making my plans. I just keep moving and moving, not sitting and being. No, if I am still too long I might fall asleep.
But my dreams have stayed with me. Strangely beautiful, impossible fantasies of other lives that mine could have been. One lifetime surely is not enough. I will be sure to make the one I have my own.

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One thought on “I can’t write

  1. Each of us have our “zone” of what and where we go & do to be creative and tap into that resource inside.I find it interesting that you prefer the old fashioned tools and I prefer a keyboard.Neither is right, wrong, better or worse.

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