I’m anticipating the slip-up. Human nature is kind of a bitch that way. But I don’t want to just assume I’ll fail at some point and psych myself out. I try to keep out of my mind past attempts and failures to lose weight. I’m still nervous, I guess, that today might be no different than before. But I have to try… my health depends on it, not to mention all my plans and dreams for the future.
It’s a really lonely business being on a diet. People look at you funny when you refuse obviously delicious food. You feel like everyone is just waiting for you to fall off the bandwagon. And if you’re having any success, you get one of three reactions: the “Congrats, keep it up!”, the snide looks of “Well it’s about time,” or the occasional “Boy I wish I could do that.”
The one singular thing I’ve found that keeps me focused is the idea that this isn’t really a “diet,” I’m just re-training my body on how to eat. Second thing I’ve found really important is planning. Having lots of healthy food around doesn’t just happen. Having options of reasonable snacks depending on your craving takes a little work. Finally, I’d be lost without the accountability and support I’ve had. And not just being held accountable by others. You can cheat that pretty easily. But really keeping track of calories in and calories out in a less than tedious way. I tried before writing everything down and then looking it all up later to add up all my food calories. Booooring. And way too time consuming. There are lots of online resources, though that will do all that for you. A few will even estimate calories expended by putting in your daily activities. I found something that works pretty well for me and the daily affirmation that everything I’m doing is adding up is just priceless. Plus I have some really smart friends and very loving family.
It still sucks sometimes; I’m not going to lie. We had pizzas ordered in for work today. I ate my hummus and pitas while they enjoyed hot cheesy goodness. Yesterday was an excruciatingly stressful day at work & I could not stop thinking about a fillet o’fish. I actually ended up enjoying my turkey wrap very much though, and then took out my frustrations at the gym. (I know, it doesn’t sound especially tasty or exciting, but fresh really is better than you remember.)